Dating is such a fun experience where you don’t only get to meet other people, but you also get to meet yourself. You get to explore your preferences and, Uhm, get to feel it on your own skin, so to say.
We look for green flags in a relationship, or green flags in men that we meet, but more often than not we carelessly stumble upon a whole lot of red ones. And it sucks, to go through a lot of people and to still be left empty-handed at the end of every underwhelming date.
Dating can be fun, sure. But for the folks who look for something serious or are ready for a commitment, it can be rather tiring or even hopeless. This brings me to dating apps or trying to meet people online. A place where everyone can be anyone, which is both the problem and the solution.
Did you ever meet a cute guy, where you can’t stop texting each other, and everything seems so nice and sweet but you just can’t read between the lines or even have the slightest idea of where all of that is going?
Or have you ever been scared to take an online fling to the next level by meeting up in real life? I mean, you don’t even know who you’re talking to because there is this lack of personal and very real touch. Endless texts and video calls can only take you so far, but you need pointers to know what and who you’re dealing with. I should know because that’s how I met my boyfriend and had no idea how to deal with things online.
So, let’s make things a lot easier by naming a whole lot of green flags you should be on the lookout for.
The Ultimate green flags in a person
Even when you can see someone face to face, it’s sometimes hard to decipher the good intentions from the bad ones. Are you on the same page? Or how much does he like me? You never really know until you feel what you need to feel.
Let’s say you’ve been talking for a while, and you want to know where you stand. Here’s your goldmine:
1. They genuinely listen to you
Possibly the most essential green flag during the talking stage: This one isn’t that hard to catch, because you can see it in their eyes (or via text in this case), body language, and speech. When someone truly listens to you and cares about your opinions and feelings, your words will reflect on them, and they’ll be able to directly respond to your needs. You can even hear it in their tone of voice when they’re excited to hear whatever you have to say.
2. They make their feelings very clear to you
When someone truly likes you, they will be very clear about their feelings. Sure, some people are more direct some are less, but the point remains: take mixed feelings as a NO! If they want you, they will make it clear, not give you anxiety and a headache.
3. They respect your boundaries
This is one of the ultimate green flags in a guy or a girl, or anyone for that matter. It’s not only important to directly respect a boundary but to ask or notice one. Just imagine yourself in that situation, when you see that the other person is clearly uncomfortable with a situation or topic. If you really like them, you won’t push that narrative until they are ready, or you’ll even change yours completely. Keep that same energy for yourself, never settle for less.
4. They make time for you
We all live in hectic times and have no idea how to organize half of our working weeks. However, when we really like someone and want to get to know them and spend more time with them, we have no issue with clearing our schedule a bit or meeting up after or before work. Is it a hassle? Only if it’s not one of your priorities, to be honest.
5. They know how to compromise
If they know how to meet you halfway during a disagreement or just a difference in opinions, then you’re looking at a walking green flag. When you’re in a relationship or even a serious one, you have to think about two people sometimes. It’s not just all about you anymore, and your needs. If they want you, they’ll show you through actions more than words.
6. They are sexually compatible with you
I cannot stress this enough, and I feel like most of my friends don’t even listen to me when I tell them – but this is super important! Expressing your sexuality and preferences with your partner is only possible if the two of you are somewhat on the same page. When you’re sexually compatible, your overall enjoyment during sex spikes, making the relationship itself better and stronger on an intimate level. Plus, there would be no awkwardness due to a difference in preferences.
7. They are not afraid of discussing the future with you
People who know what they want and are not afraid to show it are the ones you want to keep close. It’s like a kick in the stomach when someone is avoiding any talks about the future where the both of you are included. Especially when you like them a lot and want to build something with them. Now, this doesn’t have to include kids or marriage, but if you’ve met on a dating app, a real-life date convo would be nice. If they are avoiding the future, maybe it’s best to keep them in the past.
8. They make you feel comfortable
This one is super important because it’s not often that you feel free to be yourself in front of someone so intimately. When your personality and feelings are stripped down to their core, and when you show them a face you only care to show your family or closest friends, you know they made you feel safe and comfortable. And only in a house like that can you build a home, never having to lessen parts of you or pretend.
9. They like to show you off
When they want to include you in family events, or with their closest friends is when you know it’s the real thing. They’re showing you off but in the best way possible. Almost in a proud way, even. For example, when they start a convo with, “So when I was telling my mom about you…”, that is a clear sign they see more in what you have together. When someone is proud to call you their partner, you know you’re next to the right person.
10. They don’t make you doubt
There’s a big difference between your own doubts, provoked by former bad experiences, and the doubts you can get directly from your partner. When you’re with the right person, they won’t have to make you doubt their love for you. Even during their off days, when they want space and alone time, you shouldn’t have to question their intentions or read fortune cards to predict what’s next. Security is only made when intentions are pure, no matter the situation.
I know many people who have met their significant other through a dating app or online in general. It is very common these days, and you can even find folks who share the same interests due to platforms that allow such acquaintanceships.
You should be safe, for both your mental and physical being, but not too scared to give it a shot. It’s easy to meet people, but not too easy to connect and create something real, outside of message chats and calls. But the most important green flag is when you just naturally vibe or share similar energies with the other person. It’s just there, in the air and the conversation flows like water. It’s both exciting and scary, but you just can’t get enough. And if you are thinking of a specific person while reading this, then you just might have found the jackpot you’ve been looking for.