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ToggleIf you are a living and conscious human being, chances are you have already failed in life. Many times.ย Allow us to explain.
From kindergarten all the way to big corporate jobs and projects, human beings can and will mess up and miserably fail at what theyโre doing at one point or another. Thatโs just how weโre biologically designed…Flawed and very far from perfect.
And since we are conscious of that fact as well, we are fully aware of this. As a species, weโve collectively written millions and millions of self-help books, made inspirational songs and movies about how itโs impossible to be perfect, yet the majority of the population is still chasing something so poetically inexistent.ย And then thereโs the fear of disappointing others, as well as the fear of failure and procrastination.
โWhile the general population contains approximately 30% perfectionists, the percentage of perfectionists among the gifted population is close to 80%.โ
Thatโs a rather terrifying number, wouldnโt you say?!ย
Fear of failing is very closely tied to seeking perfection, which weโve already deemed as impossible…Therefore, failure is somewhere in the stars, having your name written all over it.ย So, letโs dismantle this issue and learn how to accept and live with the fact that failure is a very common and normal part of the seemingly abnormal and extraordinary human experience.ย
Success is an Abstract Concept
When asking a 10-year old what they want to be when they grow up, the answer is not going to be centered around whatโs universally considered โsuccessfulโ, but whatโs internally thought to be โhappyโ.ย Young adults, especially in the last 10 years, have centered their success around money and everything money can buy and display on the internet.ย Somewhere, in the middle of all of that technological and digital revolution, weโve lost touch with what cannot be won, earned, nor posted…Inner fulfilment.ย
Source: Pexels
So, to put things in perspective, success is entirely subjective and somewhat abstract. Sure, there are universal concepts and practices, but they create but an illustration and not at all an inner picture of peace and serenity.ย Furthermore, you canโt really fail at searching for your own success because you know taking the ladder would be less than anything indifferently acceptable.ย Ask yourself…what is it that youโre โfailingโ here? Your personal dreams and wishes or what everyone else is โโeffortlesslyโโ succeeding at?ย
Maybe youโre not even afraid of failing but bear this fear of embarrassment.ย Thereโs some fresh-out-the-oven warm food for thought.
Donโt Go Against The Inevitable
Failure is inevitable. No matter the industry, job, or last name – you will fail, miserably even. But thatโs what makes the best songs, films, and stories.ย The best learning experiences lie right in the middle of that painfully sad and tragic collapse of ideas. But donโt roll the movie credits and curtains just yet, the audience isnโt clapping and the story isnโt over.ย The end is inevitable, yes, but not before the taleโs climax, a Fenix born from ashes, a.k.a, an idea born from defeat. โWhy am I such a failureโ is more of a beginning than anything else.ย
You lost that job, that boyfriend or girlfriend, youโve realized your major isnโt really for you halfway through Uni, fear of failure in college students is so last season…Blah, blah, blah, the world has seen it all before. Thatโs not the end, silly…Thatโs your storyโs plot!ย The failure itself is irrelevant in comparison to what you decide to do after the collision.ย Since the food has somewhat cooled down, itโs maybe time to put that food for thought into actionโฆ
Have A Little Faith…In Yourself
Some people fail more, some less, but each failure although a lesson is also unwanted and somewhat feared territory. With each burn also goes a piece of your trust in yourself, as well as what life has to offer. Eventually, we develop this fear of work. After a while, we tend to become overly cautious about taking necessary risks in life, no matter the industry.
Fear of failure is normal, but not going towards what you want DESPITE that fear is what will end you, not the failure itself.ย Some people are so afraid of failing that they stay in the same position for their lifeโs entire movie. No ups, no down, only one straight line of seemingly nothing but a failure comfort with lust for something better and more exciting. And although safe, thatโs no life worth living.
Follow the White Rabbit
Every fear, no matter how small, has its root cause, or moment of impact if you will. Every traumatic experience has left a piece of itself in our minds, but just like any seed, with time, care, and gentle doubtful watering, that seed will grow its roots and branches so big, that fear will become a huge portion of the life.ย Only then will the โcanโt see the forest from the treesโ saying make full sense to us.ย Where did this seed come from, who planted it there? Fear of falling is caused by something else, and that something is different in each person.ย
The rabbit hole might be hard to track or even go through but itโs oh so necessary. What are you afraid of exactly? Disappointing yourself or dissaving someone elseโs expectations and boundaries?
We are often constructing our whole lives based on someone elseโs recipe for success that in the middle of all that fear of failing the only thing weโre actually failing at is being happy. So, in order to get over the fear of raised eyebrows and lost friends, we have to choose our own happiness instead of the traditionally portrayed one in the media.ย Speaking of media…
Social Media is A Double-Edged Sword
Hustle culture, as well as, โsuccessโ has a very distorted image on social media. What you see isnโt always what you get…Nor is it obtainable in real life.ย All these โlife coachesโ and 401k Ghandis of Instagram have no actual value outside of social media feeds and Stories. In other words, donโt compare yourself and your โfailsโ to photoshopped half-truths. Thereโs no point to it whatsoever.ย
Additionally, keep things lowkey until you have concrete and achieved goals. Itโs better than blasting everything all over social media. Sometimes, well, most of the time, keeping your plans away from the digital spotlight is better in the long run. Remind yourself that what you see online isnโt the full truth, success isnโt one concrete recipe everyone has to follow thought like in Ratatouille. Itโs winging it kind of thing if you havenโt noticed already.ย ย
โBeware the barrenness of a busy lifeโ
Despite the very visible century difference, not much has changed since Socrates said that. The premise is still very much alive and breathing.ย Just because youโre busy 24/7, doesnโt mean you are succeeding, nor does it equal any sort of value. You can be average at 10 things, but exceptional at one…Why not take the ladder then?ย Because that one exceptional thing needs time, effort, and a whole lotta practise and talent. But in the end, doing less in quantity and more in quality has always shown to be worth it.
Just ask, Oprah, for example, whose show only took off when she was half past 30. Or anyone who has experienced an epiphany and success after the age of 25, which this generation has deemed as โoldโ, for some reason.ย Keeping busy to make it look like youโre successful just keeps you distracted from something more valuable you should actually be doing.ย
The Moment You Actually Fail
Itโs going to happen, itโs just a matter of time. The fear of failing is but a concept that youโve probably seen in coming of age movies where they had to pick one plot thatโs not overbearing for the younger audiences. And just like that, we have a whole generation fearing the inevitable, which is rather stupid for such an intelligent species.
No need to go all atychiphobia-like on yourself, at not in this lifetime.ย No, you are not failing at life, but the moment you do fail though, wonโt be as bad as you think. Youโll be sad, maybe cry a bit and then get angry at the world and yourself – all normal.ย But after a few sad songs and depressing Twitter posts later, youโll already be back on your feet, thinking of alternative ways to succeed at what you want in life.
Do things happen for a reason or do they not, we will most likely never know. But, what we can influence is how we react to the things that do end up happening to us. We give them meaning, not the other way around. So, if youโve already failed at one thing, chances are something much better is waiting for you just around the corner.ย ย