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Every single relationship is bound to have its ups and downs, that’s what makes it fun and strong, isn’t it?
Well, some burdens are easy to carry, while many others aren’t because each and every single one of us has its own needs that we must fulfill. Therefore, the foundation of a healthy relationship is knowing how to communicate needs in a relationship and be honest and straightforward with your partner.
Okay, but if my needs are not as realistic as my partner has envisioned them to be? Or what if my needs exceed the limits of what is ‘normal’ in a relationship? In such cases, you need to sit down even more often and talk things through until you figure out your needs and desires no matter the costs.
As hard and tedious as all of the things mentioned above sound, it’s a must for the foundations of a healthy relationship, and here is a thorough guide to help you out.
The Importance of Healthy Communication
Communicating your needs, and expressing your boundaries and desires in a relationship is the essence of an eternal and loving relationship. But for some, it takes a lot of exercise and understanding to fully understand mutual desires and respect them. In any case, communication is the key, and the reasons are plenty. Knowing how to communicate your needs in a relationship is of utmost importance.
By effectively communicating your needs, desires, and burdens, you can create a sense of safety and trust in a relationship. Next, when you listen to your partner and aim to be attentive, present in the moment, and mindful of any issue, your relationship will flourish and you will feel as if nothing can hold you down.
Good communication is not only the essence of a healthy and sane relationship but the pivotal factor in happiness and respect. If you were to practice healthy communication regularly, you would undoubtedly resolve any conflict and even recognize a potential one, maximally build trust and deepen the affection you have for one another.
Bear in mind that nobody is perfect, and only with effective communication can you comprehend your partner’s needs and work towards being a better person, in and out of the relationship.
Are You Aware of Your Own Needs?
Yes and no. Everyone has needs, whether they want to admit them or not, that’s a whole other dimension. Also, needs tend to vary from person to person. Each person in a relationship has their own set of specific needs that demand to be heard and valued.
Only exercising your needs without asking your partner’s point of view or piece of advice can lead to relationship breakdowns, plus not being aware of your needs can lead to negative outcomes.
For the relationship to thrive, each person in a relationship needs to have their needs met, of course, if they are reasonable, in order to bring joy and satisfaction to both partners. Therefore, the right question is how to communicate needs in a relationship.
7 Tips on How to Express Your Needs and Communicate them Calmly and Confidently
Prioritizing open and honest relationships starts by navigating through conflicts better and clearly and confidently letting other people know what their needs and wishes are.
Of course, people act differently at the start of a relationship, however, if you want to work towards having independence in a relationship and at the same time have mutual respect, you must communicate your needs effectively, especially at the start of the relationship.
Here are some tips on how to talk about what you want in a relationship and how to express your needs by communicating them calmly and confidently.
1. Practice trust and honesty
The two most advantageous features in a relationship are trust and honesty. When you are always straightforward and honest with your partner, not creating conflicts, lying, or making schemes that may cause disbalance in a relationship, you are bound to have a healthy and secure relationship.
Reliability, transparency, and truthfulness are the ground rules for a healthy relationship.
2. Seek mutual understanding
One of the most straightforward pieces of advice on how to talk about what you want in a relationship is for both of you to express your thoughts, needs, and feelings openly. Sure, this may sound much harder than it is, but good things never come overnight.
If you want your partner to be honest with you, you ought to do the same. Ask open questions and give open answers at all times, because the more profound and truthful your conversations are, the more effectively you will comprehend each other’s needs.
3. Show unconditional emotional support
Love mustn’t have a price on it, the same goes for support. It might be difficult to fulfill your partner’s wishes and demands, however, with mutual respect, agreement, open conversation, and emotional support, the sky’s the limit.
When you have a person by your side who loves you unconditionally, listens to you at all times, and shows empathy and understanding for your feelings and needs, you will have a winning combination for a strong relationship.
4. Avoid having assumption
False ideas and assumptions can only lead to misunderstandings, unnecessary arguments, and negative thoughts, hence, instead of merely ‘assuming’ something, ask and talk about it.
Once you directly clarify things with questions and explanations, you will have a clearer picture of what your partner thinks and feels.
Having assumptions is wrong in so many ways since when you don’t have a background story, you may as well create your own and the person you love and care for would just close even more and even lead to relationship anxiety and breakouts.
5. Listen actively at all times
As already mentioned, practicing active listening is the essence of communicating your needs in a relationship. Distract yourself from environmental or ambiental things, sit down, and listen to understand.
That’s right, the key to active listening is to listen to understand what your partner has to say, not only to respond or fight back. Make an effort to always show value to their answers and perspective, opt to summarize what your partner has said, and even ask a few questions to clarify any misunderstandings.
6. No to accusatory lingo and yes to “I feel” statements
The most important strategy for honest and open communication includes using “I” statements which indicate being direct, specific, and without false restraints in communication.
This also indicates not using accusatory language such as “You hurt me byโฆ” or “You shouldn’t have done thatโฆ”, but letting your partner express their emotions clearly and responding to “I feel” statements like “I feel hurt whenโฆ” or “I feel sad whenโฆ”.
Using such “I feel” statements instead of “You did this” can maximally reduce the possibilities of your partner feeling that they have done something wrongful or disappointing. Changing the tone and vocabulary when you communicate will help you express your needs effectively.
7. Restrain yourself from criticism and be gentle
Make sure that your words are considerate and expressed gently and calmly. When you approach a problem with blame and criticism, you won’t accomplish anything, if only you’ll make things worse.
Gather your thoughts, listen first, and then react sensibly. Be calm and reframe your sentences in a compassionate and logical manner that doesn’t point blame to your partner but rather helps you share your perspective and thoughts.
Restraining yourself from criticism would help you prevent defensive reactions and assist in resolving any communication issues.
Final Thoughts
Every communication starts with openness and clarification. Take time to talk and think about what makes you feel happy in a relationship and whether all your needs are righteous and logical at the moment.
Show empathy, respect, and love, because this would undoubtedly change your life perspective.
