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Do you struggle with self-acceptance or self-doubt? Guess what? A lot of us do. We are our own worst critics. Because of that, we may have difficulties validating ourselves. It’s a skill that takes practice. At first, it won’t be easy, but it’s good to hear you are not alone.
Follow me, and you’ll discover the importance of self-validation and its advantages. You’ll learn how to validate yourself and become free from external opinions.
Self-validation is a way to accept and honor your own internal experience, including your thoughts and feelings, without judgment or criticism. It’s acknowledging your strengths and efforts, prioritizing your needs, and encouraging yourself. It’s a process of self-acceptance that helps you understand and love yourself better.
When you validate yourself, you work through your feelings, beliefs, and thoughts to bring yourself to a healthy, happy psychological condition, independent of other people’s influence.
Internal validation helps you recognize your emotions, core values, principles, and beliefs that make you who you are as a person. It is freedom to live life as it is, with all its ugliness included. It gives you the freedom to pick your own path.
10 Tips to Practice Self-Validation
1. Recognizing and acknowledging your feelings
As you take care of your physical health, you should also take care of your feelings. Pay attention to your emotions, try to understand what they mean, and find their source.
Accept your sentiments as they arise. It is a crucial part of your emotional health.
Always try to recognize emotion and listen to what it is trying to tell you. This will bring you many benefits—improving self-awareness and decision-making, and improving your mental health.
2. Using positive self-talk and affirmations
Most women keep an internal dialog inside their heads. It’s your inner voice, the narrative you hold about yourself. It has a much bigger effect on the way you see yourself and the world than you realize.
Positive self-talk is manifesting yourself with some self-compassion and recognizing who you are. Keep a diary or try journaling – creative writing can help you cope easier and help you to express your feelings.
There is a great way to switch on the light of self-talk. It is saying positive affirmations in your head, in front of the mirror, during the day.
3. Reframing negative thoughts
The way you think affects the way you feel, and how you feel can in turn affect how you think; it’s easy to find yourself in a chain reaction. Keep your positive thoughts and feelings like a treasure.
Plenty of your problems are caused by the wrong way of thinking about yourself and others. If it is wrong, you must simply change it. It is like learning any other skill—it’s hard at the beginning, but with practice, you`ll find it easier step by step.
Reframing is a process that helps you find, challenge, and replace your negative thoughts.
4. Celebrating your successes and accomplishments
In today’s society, we are almost never satisfied or too busy to celebrate our daily successes.
If you are unhappy or displeased with your level of accomplishments, it’s time to recognize and honor your success. It will positively affect your mental health.
You will not only feel wonderful, but it will motivate you to do things better and be more productive.
5. Practicing self-compassion
It’s easy to be hard on yourself. It can destroy your mood, energy, productivity, and mental and emotional health.
If you forgive yourself, accept your weaknesses and deficiencies, show yourself grace and mercy, not taking things personally, and talk to yourself with kindness, you actually practice self-compassion.
Make it a habit that sticks.
6. Surround yourself with the right kind of people
We are social and emotional beings who seek companionship. It’s crucial to have people around who lift you up, understand, love, and support you.
Those you spend time with always have an enormous influence, not just on your mood but on your whole life.
Surround yourself with positivity. Surround yourself with visionaries, positive thinkers, smart, hardworking, and kind people.
7. Learn to be more present
We all face struggles that come with relationships, work, and daily life. No matter what`s happening in your life, you must find a sense of presence, get in touch with yourself and your surroundings.
Making mindfulness part of your daily routine and meditating are great ways to be present. Be in touch with your emotions, thoughts, and body.
Use all of your senses.
8. Be a little selfish
Self-care can sometimes be selfish, and that’s OK. It’s important for your well-being.
Women are expected to be focused on family or community, and that can be a reason for emotional suffering. Learn to say NO, no to all things that make you feel unhappy. Simply, put yourself first.
Be selfish; if you are tired, rest, take your alone time, rethink your relationship, and take care of yourself.
9. Practice kindness
Kindness is a path to happiness, love in action, a powerful force that runs relationships, and the reason why life is beautiful.
Smile is the core of kindness. Even little actions can make a huge difference. Compliment others, forgive, donate, volunteer, or just say `please` and `thank you` .
Be kind every day—to yourself and others.
10. Stop depending on others to make you happy
If you feel like your happiness depends on other people, you aren’t alone, but it doesn’t make things any better.
In order to be really happy, just stop expecting others to make you feel like that and start taking care of yourself. Remember, you should be your own best friend first.
No one can give you happiness but yourself.
The Negative Effects of Relying on External Validation
Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I need validation from others?” Probably because it feels great to be notified you did a good job, to be appreciated and praised.
It’s normal to want affirmation from your parents, partners, and friends, but don’t rely on others to make you feel good or happy. Don’t hesitate to use your abilities, and don’t allow others to dictate your worth.
Relying on external validation can cause anxiety or depression. It holds you back from expressing yourself for fear of others` opinions. You start changing thoughts and beliefs about how others feel. Take things into your own hands.
External validation may be in addition to self-validation, but never in place of it.
The Benefits of Self-Validation
Self-acceptance allows you to be confident yet empathic, goal-oriented yet encouraging, logical yet intuitive. It helps you find and recognize your true self, your needs, and your wishes. It takes care of your mental and physical well-being.
The most important thing is that it teaches you to accept your internal experiences and builds your identity and personality.
Women who are self-validated have better relationships, communication, and cooperation. They are more successful, enthusiastic, and open-minded. They do not just struggle with problems; they solve them.
How self-validation can improve self-esteem
The fact is, the more approval you give yourself, the more you end up seeking it from other people.
Start doing what is right and good for you rather than what you think people will accept or expect. Always ask yourself, `What do I really want and need? `
Practice internal validation to improve self-esteem, and you will start making choices that are best for you. It will help you stop worrying about what others might think. For sure, it will heal your soul and your mind.
If there are obstacles on your path, push them away and get back on the path of validating again.
Challenges and Obstacles to Self-Validation
Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long journey full of barriers.
The biggest obstacle is comparing yourself to others. Looking outside of yourself for happiness and lacking patience are the others.
If you want to avoid challenges and obstacles, just move away from strong self-criticism, judgments, and worries.
The role of self-doubt and self-criticism
Self-criticism hurts; it doesn’t make you feel good, and it kills your creativity. It keeps you from developing your self-confidence.
Sometimes, if you keep it under control, it can help you recognize important mistakes, but don’t forget how it can be damaging. It’s important how you treat it.
Don’t let it fill you with self-doubt. If you welcome your mistakes and correct them, you will stop believing that self-criticism or doubt motivates you.
The influence of societal norms and expectations
Social norms can affect any aspect of our lives. They teach us how to behave in certain situations. Women generally follow them because they seek to fit in with the community. It’s very difficult to avoid them.
They can have both positive and negative effects. It depends only on you. You can choose which of them you will accept and how much they can influence you.
Addressing past experiences that may hinder self-validation
Thinking about the past is normal, but ruminating can be disturbing.
Constantly thinking about negative emotions or events that once were may give rise to distress. It can affect your mental health. Learn how to manage it.
Practice self-compassion and forgiveness. Mindfulness strategies can help you clear out past experiences that disturb your sense of validation.
Validation has been a challenge in my own life. There was a tiny, inner voice, my inner critic, inside telling me: “It’s not good enough”. I know firsthand how difficult it can be, and believe me, it’s not where you want to be.
I get better at self-validating. I accept my emotions without judgment. I learned that the only person who is able to convince me of my worth is actually me.
So, let`s validate!
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