Dealing with Relationship Anxiety

relationship anxiety girl looking out the window

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

Relationships are never easy, period! If you have thought about going through relationship burdens with no scars, sorry to break it to you but you thought wrong.

In the beginning of every single relationship, it’s all sunshine and flowers, however, the moment you figure out you are in a picture-perfect relationship, things start to go south. In the real world, you would try to shake things off, retain your sanity, and move on, but things are not always as easy.

Relationship anxiety is closely related to ongoing feelings of constant worry, insecurity, feelings of doubts, and uneasiness. What’s more, there might be a nonstop need for reassurance which can lead to nervous breakdowns and even negative outcomes for the relationship itself.

As anxiety in relationships can be very detrimental for a person, you need to dig deep and get acquainted with what relationship anxiety really is so you can get your story straight. Whether it’s the insecurity, feelings of doubt, and apprehensiveness about having the perfect relationship or not, etc., unless you learn how to deal with it, you might be in real trouble.

If you reckon that you have experienced similar manifests, here is a thorough guide on how to recognize anxiety in a relationship, how long relationship anxiety lasts, some strategies to help you manage these feelings, and even hints on how to stop relationship anxiety. Read on.

Understanding Relationship Anxiety

Numerous people have experienced some form of anxiety once in their lifetime. However, relationship anxieties can take their toll on multiple other daily life matters, therefore, you ought to recognize them urgently.

Relationship anxiety has many forms, but it initially involves feelings of uneasiness, insecurities, and doubts about the relationship and experiences that you have with your partner. This is utterly different from general anxiety which is mainly related to doubtful feelings of various steps you take in life, from job to health.

People may not recognize what relationship anxiety is at first glance, and this is usually what causes other adverse problems later in life.

So, how to spot if you are experiencing anxiety in a relationship?

The second you think you feel stuck in a relationship, if you keep having fear of abandonment or wrongdoing, or start experiencing the pain of potential breakup or loss, the chances are that you are having relationship anxiety. When such feelings start arising, you feel doubtful and fearful of whether your partner is cheating on you, whether he is going to break up with you, or even whether you are not the right person for him, the list goes on and on.

Asking yourself these questions is only one way to comprehend why so many people are experiencing anxiety in relationships, but looking for roots and triggers might come in handy.

Root Causes and Triggers

The moment you start analyzing every single move and sentence your partner makes, having doubtful and agitating thoughts, there’s a high chance that you are experiencing anxiety in a relationship.

Besides constantly questioning the stability of your relationship, and having agitating thoughts, there are some other underlying factors that are very consistent with anxiety in relationship feelings. Some things can be traced back to your childhood and growing up. If you have lost a dear family member in the early stages of adolescence, you might immediately have resourceful feelings for potential partners and not be able to show love and affection.

This anxious attachment style can also be the cause of some negative past experiences in a relationship. For instance, if you have had an abusive or extremely jealous partner, there are higher chances that you would later in life feel anxiety in a relationship than those who didn’t have a jealous partner.

woman on bed feeling anxious

Let’s not forget about not having enough self-esteem and an adequate attitude towards yourself.
People who live with faulty and poor self-worth opinions are going to struggle to find a deserving partner who would respect their attitude and deeds in life.

Besides lack of confidence, in certain cases, experiencing worry about your partner’s actions and affection and not having the nerves and will to communicate represents another cause of relationship anxiety.

Impact on Relationships

Let’s see – what kind of impact does this state have on people in relationships and how to deal with anxiety in a relationship? Both questions are pretty straightforward, however, not so easy to answer.

When it comes to the first notion, probably the greatest impact relationship anxiety has is on communication, intimacy, trust, and bonding. Vastly important things, right? If you start feeling agitation and nervousness about your partner’s deeds, or if you constantly feel on edge and not so relaxed about the person you are dating, you are going to have a rough patch.

This is why the relationship talking stage is extremely vital for couples. No matter if you have been dating for a month or a year or two, when the problems are not communicated and all the issues related to anxiety in a relationship, you are bound to lose the trust in your partner, maybe lose the partner for good.

5 Strategies for Managing Anxiety

Dealing with relationship anxiety is no plain sailing. Luckily, there are a few proven hacks that you can incorporate in order to manage and overcome the problems with relationship anxiety.

1. Validate yourself

Start listening to yourself and opt to put yourself in the first place. The key is to maintain your identity at all times in a relationship and validate yourself so you become a better version of yourself and your partner eager to be loved. When you validate yourself, it would also be easier for you to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and see how your anxiety affects you both.

2. Practice mindfulness

Things are not usually what they seem, and there’s no need to start panicking the moment you come up with some relationship-related problem. Take a deep breath, and set your thoughts straight. Very often your thoughts alone are the culprit to anxiety in a relationship. Unwind and try some thought-provoking exercises such as meditation or reiki which would help you clear out your mind before you lash out at your partner.

3. Opt for effective and open communication

Poor or lack of communication is another trigger of relationship anxiety. Whenever you feel stressed and overwhelmed about a certain situation, it’s of utmost importance to communicate it with your pattern. This is equally vital even when you are happy, not only when you feel down and panicking. Open and straightforward communication is the recipe for relationship success.

4. Utilize distraction

Make sense of your life and relationships, and avoid getting entangled in the anxiety feeling. If you are wondering how to stop relationship anxiety? Set yourself free and embrace distractions. Instead of analyzing all the things that made you anxious, insecure, impulsive, or agitated, try to find a new form of happiness.

Take your partner by the hand and go for a walk, watch a movie, do couples yoga, or go to a pub to hang out with friends.

5. Avoid having a self-centered view

Take time to reflect on how you bonded, if you met through some online dating app and didn’t have time to thoroughly learn things about one another, don’t rush out the second there’s a problem. Utilize online dating green flags such as reflecting on what makes you feel good when you are with your partner and stop having self-centered views.

Building Trust and Security

Happiness comes in many shapes and forms, and instead of being constantly anxious in a relationship and wondering about all the steps your partner takes and doesn’t take, you need to confront this state and toughen up.

How long does relationship anxiety last? No one actually can know this, but everyone can make an effort and work towards building trust and security in the relationship. Aim to treasure your current reality, embrace the satisfactory moment you have with your partner, and take steps to get your (anxious) emotions under control.

Trust and security are pivotal items to achieving happiness, so try not to question the reasons for your anxiety but defeat it with trust and honesty.

When to Seek Professional Help?

Life can be a real pain, but you ought to practice self-love if you wish to be reasonable about this state you are experiencing, and if that doesn’t help, the time has come to seek support from a mental health professional.

In some outcomes, couple’s therapy or individual therapy with the assistance of an expert psychologist can help you manage and combat dysfunctional thoughts you keep having about yourself and the person you are dating. Asking for help and going to therapy should be seen as a great way to succumb to all the feelings you have been experiencing and get them under control.

Supporting a Partner with Relationship Anxiety

Communicating your emotions must go both ways. If you have noticed disturbing signs in your partner’s behavior and realized that he or she is experiencing anxiety in a relationship, you have to become reasonable, attentive, and supportive. To express appreciation and support patience is a must.

When the partner realizes that you have genuinely made an effort to comprehend and later support such behavior and feeling, you will be on the right track to safely keep your relationship and create a tighter bond.

Offer support by showing that you understand and care about your partner’s feelings, focus on changing the emotional state they are experiencing by going for dinner, going on a getaway weekend, breaking the daily routines, and trying to maintain healthy boundaries in a relationship.

Maintaining Personal Well-being

There’s no denying that emotions emerge without warning, and you should never jump to conclusions when your partner starts experiencing anxiety in a relationship.

On the other hand, practice giving positive comments, refrain from all negative deeds and thoughts and stop comparing or measuring your relationship due to some anxious moments or actions. Since emotions come and go without some concrete warning, you must maintain personal well-being by practicing self-care more and being more “present” in the relationship.

Try to recognize all your feelings and treat them as a tangible state, but never let them overwhelm you or the relationship you have with your partner. Dealing with relationship anxiety is already a hard task, and not having a helping hand to support you through life can make things worse.

Therefore, supporting your partner, as already mentioned, is the must-do step if you wish to foster a healthy relationship and make it last forever.

By and large, the moment you spot anxiety levels rise, stop to think and start to validate yourself.

Utilize self-soothing techniques, be honest about your feelings, don’t hide your state, and above all, identify what is the cause of your anxiety and address it. Only by doing this will you stay truthful to yourself and your relationship.

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