Have you ever waited impatiently and been excited about hearing an alert from your phone indicating that a potential lover had messaged you? There is a lot of excitement, but no obligation. Texting all day long, but no kissing.
What happens if those days turn into months? Well, welcome to the talking stage, sweet but confusing.
But what’s the difference between talking stage and dating?
11 Obvious signs that the talking stage is going well
First let us answer the crucial question: how do you know if the talking stage is going well? Le’s look at 11 signs that everything is developing smoothly.
1. You have regular communication.
One of the important signs that the talking stage is going well is regular contact. If you are both thrilled to text each other and you do that day and night, you are definitely involved in some kind of relationship. There is no guarantee of how things will progress, but this is a positive sign.
2. He talks about you with his friends or family.
When he mentions you to his friends and family members, it usually means he wants to keep you in his life. The “meet-the-parent” moment is really a big deal in the talking stage. That probably means he is deep into the relationship.
3. You are making progress.
In the beginning, the talking stage has an undefined status. You will wonder when you will hear from him, or should you call him first. And that is completely normal. However, after these initial worries, you should become more and more comfortable with each other.
When things start moving forward and you have constant communication, no matter who starts first, or you see each other regularly, you are definitely making progress.
4. You are talking about your relationship.
If you openly talk about your feelings, needs, or future plans, you are off to a great start. It’s important to feel comfortable opening up and sharing your emotions and thoughts without judgment.
When one of you avoids talking about personal and emotional things, it’s time to discuss where things are headed.
5. You have private jokes.
It’s always great to spend time with people who make you laugh. Making inside jokes is a sign you know each other so well.
They come from shared understanding, and that’s why they are special. They are just like secrets—intimate and uncommon. They are signs of closeness.
6. You make future plans.
Making future plans together is a sign that you both enjoy your relationship and want to continue it. It can be a movie night, a short vacation, attending a dance course, going camping, or just dinner.
Thinking ahead is important, but don’t forget that you have to be on the same page. Talking about your future goals and dreams is one of the steps to officially dating.
7. You are both open and honest.
Being crystal-clear and transparent is the foundation for all healthy and successful relationships. It’s not always easy because it involves being vulnerable and unsafe.
Speaking about your feelings, thoughts, goals, or plans is one of the signs the talking stage is going well and you trust each other.
8. You prioritize and pay attention to each other.
When you are dealing with the talking stage of a relationship, making it a priority can be a big challenge. It’s especially difficult when you both have a busy schedule, social work, a problematic job, deadlines, or a familial issue.
If you daily check in on each other, communicate, create routines, respect each other, and make time only for yourselves, it’s completely one of the green flags in the talking stage. Sometimes, you must go out of your way in order to make each other happy.
When you both do that, it means you are ready for another level.
9. You are interested in each other on social media.
Social platforms are important in today’s world. When you start being active on each other’s social media profiles and posting pictures together, it means your relationship is public.
Of course, you shouldn’t do that without each other’s knowledge, but if you are both fine with it, it’s a great sign.
Even though you are not officially a couple yet, you don’t care if people think that you are together; that can mean you both want to start dating.
10. You both put effort into your relationship.
If you put an equal amount of energy into your relationship, that can be a sign that it is going to work.
It means that you both enjoy spending time together and find each other’s company enjoyable and fulfilling. This is an indicator of a strong connection and a positive, healthy relationship.
11. You feel comfortable being yourself around him.
This is a very important aspect of the talking stage. It means you do not have to pretend to be someone you are not. This will help build trust and deepen connections. It will make your relationship more enjoyable and satisfying. You don`t have to worry about being authentic and genuine. Being yourself without fear of judgment or rejection is valuable.
There are a lot of other signs, of course, but these are the most common green flags in online dating.
Frequent questions about the talking stage
What is the talking stage?
The talking stage is a special time in the pre-dating process, an undefined early period of a relationship. It usually happens when you are dating the old-fashioned way or chatting online. This is the stage where you learn the essentials about each other.
You are just texting or talking to someone without dating them. It can be a nice scene to be in-between dots after your first meeting or online introduction, but before you are officially dating. It’s a period of discovering each other`s needs, habits, wishes, opinions, future goals, and personal characteristics.
It’s natural to show your emotional side and talk about feelings. It can be an opportunity to clearly reveal how your fondness will develop. You will have a chance to see if there is something there or not. There are no rules, obligations, or implications, but a lot of excitement. Just do not forget that anti ghosting is necessary, as that’s the usual reason why this stage ends before you pass it.
How long should the talking stage last?
Actually, no one knows. It’s a hard question to answer because it’s different for everyone. For someone, it could be a few days or weeks, and for others, it could be months or even a year. It’s unique to each pair.
Some relationship experts think that this period should last between two weeks and two months. According to them, this time is adequate to find out elementary details and observe each other’s behaviors in different situations.
In person, it’s better to figure out if you share the same values, beliefs, and principles than counting days and weeks. You should first paint a clear picture in your mind of your partner and your relationship. Take your time until you are completely sure about your feelings. It’s crucial that your partner feels ready to progress to the next stage.
There is no rule about how long you should wait before you take things to the next level. How long the talking stage lasts depends on you and your partner.
Should you talk every day in the talking stage?
Healthy texting in the talking stage of a relationship is essential to furthering emotional intimacy, trust, and chemistry between partners. Your communication style and frequency depend on your personal taste. Writing messages should bring you closer together. Regular texting will help you drive your relationship forward.
Texting every day can be fun and enjoyable, but if you are too available via text, it can be a bad look. Sometimes, it can even be a red flag. When you are constantly texting someone, it may seem like an obsession. If you spend so much time and energy on texts, the other side may start to question what your life looks like. I`m sure you don`t want your new partner to think you don’t have your own interests, hobbies, or work to do.
The question, “Should you text every day?” has no objective answer. Keep texting in a manner that makes you happy, comfortable, and safe. The frequency is not as important as how the messages make you feel.
Can you kiss during the talking stage?
The talking stage’s meaning is not so simple as it`s not just talking. It`s developing emotional and physical connections—hanging out together, having lunch or coffee, kissing, and even being intimate. If that`s fine for both of you, kissing is okay; in fact, it can help improve your relationship.
Kissing can have a positive impact on your emotional and physical well-being. Science says it boosts your `happy hormones` and lowers your cortisol, the stress hormone, levels. It helps reduce blood pressure, zaps cramps and headaches, and boosts self-esteem.
Sharing the same values and having complementary differences are important in all kinds of relationships, but the chemistry between partners can be crucial. Kissing can help you pick a compatible mate. It`s a great way to connect with someone.
Kisses help reduce blood pressure, zap cramps, and headaches, and boost self-esteem. They are like a barometer for sexual capability.
So, girl, kiss as much as possible, as long as you are not hurting anybody afterward.
How do I get past the talking stage?
In any talking stage, there is a point when one or both partners have to make a decision about how to move forward. It’s time for your relationship to progress to a deeper level. But moving on to dating from the talking stage will not just happen because you simply want it. My advice is, to be honest.
It doesn’t mean that you have to jump into an official relationship. Going from talking to dating can be a nice transition. Take your time to observe your and your partner’s feelings. When you are sure of your emotions and realize you are really interested in someone, say it.
This is the only way to get past this stage. Don’t be afraid to communicate your emotions, even if your partner isn’t on the same page as you, and everything will end. If you can’t share how you feel, it means this relationship isn’t worth it. Being honest is much better than having unsettling confusion in your head.
How to end the talking stage with a guy?
If you find yourself asking, “Is it time to walk away from this stage?” believe me, it is. Sometimes, it can be as hard as breakups—tough and painful. It may be a difficult pill to take. But if you are clear on what you want and your mate doesn’t share your vision, needs, plans, and goals, it’s time to move on alone. Anything else is just a waste of time.
During this stage, you probably didn’t often have face-to-face conversations, so you can write him a message. You should be honest, but not overly detailed. No matter how big the reason, don’t blame or shame the other person. Try to be sympathetic and show empathy. And most importantly, make a clear break in order to create distance.
In any breakup situation, being kind and compassionate will make things much easier for everyone.
What is the 3-month rule in the talking stage?
Lovey–dovey feelings you get from knowing someone new can be exciting, enjoyable, and funny at the beginning. According to relationship experts, the first few weeks of knowing a new mate can be a time of illusion. You don’t see your partner objectively. Instead, you see him for who you want him to be. Your object of desire is overloaded with imagination and estimation. This usually happens when you are in the talking stage.
The three-month rule in the talking stage is basically just setting a time limit for how much you are willing to invest in a new relationship before carrying it out or calling it quits. At this time, you should at least have a conversation about your expectations, wishes, needs, and future plans. If you don’t have common interests and can’t establish any speed, it’s best to walk away.
In this three-month period, you have to steer communication in the direction you hope to go. Be honest. Be yourself. Be objective.
Should you be loyal during the talking stage?
It all comes down to communication, and honestly, it depends on your preference and agreement. There should not be loyalty looked for until it’s discussed. This is different for everyone. Some pairs decide to be exclusive, while others test the waters with a few people at the same time. The best option is to communicate your expectations openly and clearly.
You should make a decision and stick to it, otherwise, the next step is dealing with jealousy. And, personally, it`s not your place to be jealous during the talking stage.
There is nothing wrong with being loyal, but do not forget that you are under no obligation to talk to only one person during this stage.
Do things that make you happy, but be considerate. Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want to experience yourself.
Well, you have just learned what the talking stage is. It can sometimes sound like a big mass. Being in an undefined stage can ruin your emotional health and well-being. In order to protect your mental health and avoid heartbreak, always be honest and direct about what you want and how you feel. Communicate your wishes clearly, and try to keep this stage as short as possible. Always be yourself and respect your boundaries.
And the most important: go away if your expectations don’t match your potential partner’s.