Why It’s Harder to Keep and Make Friends as We Get Older?

making friends as an adult

As We Age, We Outgrow People

As we venture through our thirties and beyond, it’s almost like we’re shedding old skin – the skin of tolerance for everything and everyone.

It’s not that we’re becoming grumpier or more antisocial; we’re just evolving into a phase where our time, energy, and peace of mind are paramount.

As we get older, maintaining or even acquiring new friendships can feel like a Herculean task. Our lives become a juggling act of work, personal responsibilities, and self-care.

This leaves little room for friendships that require constant effort or drama. We’re drawn to relationships that are straightforward and genuine, where the effort is mutual and the connection effortless.


“In the whirlwind of adulthood, friendships need to be as comforting as a favorite old sweater – easy and genuine.”


As We Age, We Have Less Tolerance for Nonsense

How therapy and self-improvement reshape our social circle? Our journey of self-improvement, often coupled with therapy, makes us more aware of the red flags in relationships. We become less tolerant of drama, toxicity, and energy-draining dynamics. It’s not that we’re becoming judgmental; we’re simply prioritizing our mental health and peace. We’re learning to choose our battles and, more importantly, our companions.


“With self-awareness comes a refined filter for our social circle – a necessary measure for mental peace.”


As we continue on our path of self-improvement, it becomes increasingly apparent that not everyone is on the same journey. It’s a stark realization that many around us may not be interested in personal growth or therapy. While it may seem judgmental, it’s more about recognizing our limits – we can’t be saviors or therapists to our friends. Protecting our energy becomes crucial.

The more we invest in our personal growth, the less patience we have for those who don’t. It’s not about superiority; it’s about aligning with people who share our values of self-improvement and positivity. There’s a growing intolerance for cynicism and negativity, which often stem from unhappiness and stagnation.

woman meditating in her room

As We Age, We Experience the Liberation of Not Needing to Fit In

Remember the days when being popular or liked by everyone seemed so crucial? Those days are long gone. There’s something liberating about reaching a point in life where you’re completely comfortable in your own skin.

The need to fit in, to be the center of attention, fades away, leaving room for authentic self-expression and connections.

As We Age, Life’s Commitments Refine Our Friendships

Whether it’s marriage, children, or a fulfilling career, life gets fuller as we age. This naturally filters our friendships.

We seek quality over quantity, choosing to spend our precious free time with those who truly add value to our lives.

It’s less about having a large social circle and more about having meaningful interactions.

As We Age, We Discover the Joy of Self-Company

Finally, let’s talk about the sheer joy of our own company. The older we get, the more we cherish those quiet nights in, with our favorite shows and furry friends.

The need for constant social interaction fades, replaced by the contentment of our own company. It’s not loneliness; it’s a celebration of self-sufficiency and peace.

In conclusion, as we age, our perspective on friendships and social interactions shifts dramatically. It’s a natural progression of prioritizing our well-being and aligning with those who truly resonate with our values.

It’s okay to outgrow people, to seek quality over quantity, and to find peace in our own company. After all, the relationship we have with ourselves sets the tone for every other relationship in our lives.

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