Our societal structures were built around masculine energy, so in order to fit into social life, career, and even daily life, most women have forgotten their natural, divine femininity.
Ask yourself: Do you feel detached from your intuition? Do you feel unsupported, frightened, lost, or even alone? Do you feel stuck in the cycle of making wrong decisions, trying to get approval, and betraying your own needs? Do you feel like I am touching your soul right now? Yes? That is because I have also been there.
If you want to start your healing journey and reclaim your femininity, give me your hand, and I’ll take you step by step.
Understanding wounded feminine energy
Before we start healing, let me explain what wounded femininity really means and how it can affect your everyday life.
The divine feminine energy is confident, healing, sensual, emotional, and intuitive. It is the sacral source of life and an essential part of our nature. On the other hand, wounded feminine energy is full of wrongdoing, suffering, struggling, and shaming.
Today’s society has thrust our inner feminine into deep, dark shadows. Our voice of the soul, our inner feminine, is ignored, repressed, and shunned. Our history is based on cruel rules full of repression, blaming, and judging. All these push us to feel insecure, submerged by our emotions, lack of empathy, and lack of self confidence.
And what is worst of all is that many of us struggle to give and receive love. These, and a lot of other signs, sound the alarm for healing your feminine wounds.
If you’re in a wounded feminine, you will know it; just listen to yourself carefully. You’ll probably have a problem finding your safe place, especially in a relationship.
A lot of women may feel alone and misunderstood. Sometimes, we stay in a completely incompatible relationship. We allow the men to lead; we even feel insecure day by day. We hold back our needs, have a deep fear of being abandoned, and finally, we just start losing ourselves.
When you are in wounded feminine energy, you simply lose your divine power. You will have problems in your relationships, career, and friendships—even in your daily communication.
The source of wounded feminine energy?
If you want to solve any kind of problem, the first thing you should do is to find its source.
Wounded femininity can be the result of traumatic events, childhood wounds, emotional or physical abuse, unhealthy relationships, mobbing, etc. It can be caused by societal, cultural, and personal factors.
Knowing and understanding its causes and sources will help you during the healing process.
Our society is considered to be masculine. Men are supposed to be much stronger, more successful, more clever, and richer than women. A masculine society definitely has a lot of privileges and advantages. Women are surrounded by masculine energy in every part of their lives, at home, during education, at the workplace. And the truth is, we need that energy, but only if it’s in harmony with divine feminine energy.
Some societies, cultures, and ethnic groups do not accept independent, strong, brave women. Stereotypical gender roles have been pushed through tradition, manners, literature, art, and habits. In a masculine culture, a woman is expected to be nurturing and focused on her family and community, not on herself. On the other hand, man is focused on material success, individual achievement, power. Women are forced to suppress their divine femininity, their sacral nature, their lights and their individuality.
There are also many personal factors that contribute to wounded energy. A lot of women deal with some kind of childhood trauma that finds its way into adulthood. Some of us have suppressed feelings, pain, or trauma from the past. Almost all of us carry unresolved problems that affect our lives.
Adequate care and love are very important during childhood. Traumatic events in your early or current years may be a source of wounded feminine energy.
It’s crucial to heal from these wounds. Try to analyze unhealed wounds to find their source. You are responsible for healing them, otherwise, you won’t be able to be happy, choose a healthy partner, keep a job, or have good communication. Wherever your wounded energy comes from, you should notice it, accept it, and try to find ways of healing it.
Healing the wounded feminine energy
Healing the wounded feminine energy could be a long-term process. There are some practical steps you should follow.
1. Acknowledge and identify your wounds
It is very important to identify and acknowledge emotional wounds.
Keeping a daily journal of your emotions or personal frustrations can help you analyze your wounds. Once you acknowledge your emotional wounds, you allow the light of healing to enter.
Identifying our wounds is an essential step on the path to emotional healing. You have to get to know yourself, who you are, and what you want, then you will be able to recognize your wounds.
First, observe them closely, then express yourself through words, actions, or thoughts.
How do you recognize your emotional wounds? Just look at all the difficulties you experience. Sometimes it can be scary, painful, and difficult. Take your time. Focus on yourself; build a self-relationship.
2. Practice self-care
Taking care of your physical body is important for your mental health. The mind and body interact and influence one another, and this relationship affects your life.
The body’s chemistry influences emotions, the mind, and thoughts. The connection between mind and body is crucial for a healthy life.
Each day your body is sending you countless messages, but how well do you notice your body’s signs?
When you are under stress, you become disconnected from your body , so you cannot hear the messages it is sending you. The other obstacle on the way to body connection is being indifferent and static.
So what can you do? Start by changing your daily routines. Engage in activities that help you connect with your body. There are different ways to move: go for a walk, do yoga, join a dance class, or dance in your room—find ways to reoccupy your body.
And don’t forget to have a pamper day, get a massage, go to the hair salon, leave everyone on read, face mask on – world off.
4. Cultivate self-compassion & self-validation
Deep and strong self-compassion sets the stage for general well-being.
Self-compassionate people have lower levels of depression and anxiety. They are kind to themselves in times of suffering.
There are methods that have been proposed and developed to help you do this. You can comfort your body, eat healthy food, have a rest, or nurture your emotions. Meditating can also be a great way.
It is normal to want validation from others, but do not question your worth. Women usually rely on others to make them feel well and seek external validation. Instead, we should learn how to validate ourselves. Judging yourself or comparing yourself to others, denying your feelings or needs, and especially self-criticism are not validating.
What is self-validation? It is prioritizing your needs, accepting your feelings and limitations, and acknowledging your progress. It is encouraging yourself.
5. Seek support
If you are healing your wounded feminine energy, you will definitely need support.
Create a support system that includes not just family members or friends but even complete strangers who can provide you practical and emotional support.
Having a support system means that you have people you can lean on whenever you need them. Healing can be a tough battle. If you need help, you must be open to the idea of asking for and accepting it. This will help you only if you strike a balance between your privacy and social support.
The right support can be essential for maintaining psychological and physical health.
Positive and strong support can enhance resilience to stress and decrease the consequences of trauma via its effects on the HPA system.
6. Rediscover your femininity
Feminine energy is primal, free-flowing, creative, and intuitive. It is sacral and expressive, not restrictive. Embracing it can heal your wounds, make you more intuitive, and help you rediscover your femininity.
Passion is a strong desire that motivates you; when you explore or practice your passions, you feel content and relaxed. It depends on your interests. Exploring your passion can help you rediscover yourself and your femininity.
Connecting with your intuition and embracing qualities like creativity, nurturing, and emotional depth can help you find your femininity.
7. Set boundaries
Boundaries are limits based on what people consider appropriate, acceptable, comfortable, and safe. They can be affected by the culture or environment. Always know what makes you feel safe and comfortable.
Once you set your personal boundaries or boundaries with other people, stick to them. Avoid unhealthy limits and anything that causes pain, guilt, annoyance, or discomfort. This involves learning to say no, drawing straight lines, and communicating about your needs and wants.
Sometimes we create unhealthy bounds which might turn into physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. This can cause not just a loss of connection with feminine energy but also a feeling of being unsafe and vulnerable. Be careful.
Boundaries can be physical, mental, sexual, emotional, or material; they are stop signs in your life, generally based on your tradition, family habits, customs, or beliefs. Wherever you put them, never compromise on their values.
8. Feminine Company
Creating a female support system, being competitive with one another, and having a healthy feminine women’s tribe is essential, especially while you are healing. Having support and channeling the power of collaboration helps you feel safe, comfortable, successful, and welcome. Always choose collaboration over competition.
Cherish a friendship with women who will support and value you , who will love and stand by you no matter the weather.
Throughout history and even in today’s society, women have often been unsupported, undermined, and undervalued. We need a healthy women’s tribe more than ever.
Women rise by lifting each other up, by accepting differences, and by celebrating other women`s successes. Female support has a healing effect; it is valuable. Take care of your tribe.
9. Learn how to accept love, support and kindness
There are a lot of reasons why you might not be comfortable accepting love, support, and kindness. Many women are afraid that they may get hurt or feel unworthy.
No matter your reason, you must learn how to accept those emotions. Self-compassion is necessary for your ability to accept love, support, or kindness.
Rejecting shame, practicing self-acceptance, being comfortable with vulnerability, giving up the urge to control, and finding people who accept you just as you are are crucial to learning how to open yourself up.
10. Let go of toxicity
The divine feminine has a dark side called toxic feminine energy. It’s based on patriarchal rules. Far from the light, it’s submissive, passive, unhealthy, and harmful. The first step in healing feminine energy is to clear it out.
Negative emotional states, such as stress or anger, have consequences and have an adverse effect on physical and mental health. It’s important to determine if you are in one.
A relationship is toxic when you are emotionally, psychologically, or physically vulnerable. It can exist in any context, and what’s worse is that toxic people can affect anyone.
You may deal with toxic relationships, not just among friends or emotional partners but even among your family members.
Honestly speaking, get rid of toxic people and avoid toxic situations. Make peace with yourself.
Here are some additional steps I want to mention that you can take to speed up your healing journey:
- Surround yourself with people who have a positive mindset
- Change unhealthy eating habits
- Go in for your spiritual life
- Meditate, pray, have spiritual bath
- Use your creativity
- Take up a hobby
- Stop controlling everything
- Learn more about masculine energy
- Be patient, kind and gentle to yourself
- Take time off from daily habits
- Pay attention to your emotions
- Make a self care plan
- Spend time in nature
- Do breathwork
- Participate in ritual
- Move your body
Whatever else you do, always use affirmations and be persistent.